God changed me!!

I was listening to a Priscilla Shirer talk and something she said touched me!! She was talking about Gods’ patience towards us. She said:

Inside of every kernel of corn there’s a microscopic dot of water, so when you take a bag of microwave popcorn and you place it inside the microwave. You are not actually heating up the shell of the corn but you’re heating up the microscopic dot of water that is inside the shell.

When those microscopic dots of water begin to heat up, it creates steam and the more it steams it presses up the shell and finally there’s so much pressure inside that kernel of corn that it pops!!

Now it looks completely different from the outside, not because you did anything to the outside but because you heated up what was on the inside. When you heat up what was on the inside, what is on the outside automatically looks different!!

This is what God does in our lives, we can’t physically see him but just like the microscopic dot of water he is there and as you heat up the work of God in the inside, as you’re immersing yourself in Gods’ word he begins to press and press against the shell up until one day you pop and become a masterpiece of Gods work, you become a manifestation of Gods’ greatness!!You’ve been changed from the inside out. You become a different being!! God saves and changes!!



The Wait: I chose Abstinence

I remember telling a guy I liked a few year ago that I promised myself that I would abstain from sex, he laughed hysterically on my face and told me to wake up, life is not a dream – he said. Well, it’s no surprise that we didn’t continue dating. We broke up, because at a very young age I knew what I wanted for myself and I was aware that dating someone whose values did not coincide with mine was a disaster. Even though we put an end to our relationship, his words kept ringing on my mind. I questioned my decision to abstain from sex and for the next few years I would feel like a wimp for deciding not to engage in any sexual activities.

I felt that it was important to confess in my next relationship that I was abstaining from sex. I expected him to run away because that was my experience with guys who had shown any interest in me in previous years. He did not, he respected my wishes and even though the relationship ended I know it wasn’t because of my decision to engage in “The Wait”.

I then came to varsity, anyone who has studied at Rhodes or rather UCKAR can attest that studying there is an eye opener. I met amazing friends who did not judge me for believing in “The Wait” but who did warn me that it would take some digging to find someone at Rhodes who shares the same beliefs about sex as me. And… that was true hahaha. I’ve never come close to having sex with anyone because I made a promise to myself and I intend on keeping it. I might have doubts from time to time but I’m not willing to break that promise. It’s something I’m not willing to let go off.

I want to make it clear that I’m not bashing people who decide to have sex, we all have different lifestyles and beliefs and no lifestyle I believe is better than the other. What matters is doing what makes us all happy, abstinence makes me happy.

Does The Wait continue? Yes, it does. And I’m willing to declare right now and right here that if God does not provide someone who understands why I choose to abstain from sex then I’m content with being single for the rest of my life. Abstinence has been something that I’ve been hiding for the longest time because I feared a life of singleness, but today God I declare that I’m content with whatever decision you take on my behalf.The Wait continues…


The Church makes me goisha at time

I recall going to a church whose name I shall not mention. I was wearing a pretty decent pencil skirt in my opinion. I was not aware that I had to wear a long skirt and a doek. The person who had invited me did not inform me of the church’s dress code so I just waltzed in with my pencil skirt, braided hair and long sleeved t-shirt.

The moment I stepped inside the church, everyone was staring at me and no they weren’t staring at me because I was nqunqaring and slaying, ha.a no. They were looks of judgement, without even saying anything you could see that the people staring at me disapproved of what I was wearing.

I sat down, sang hyms and prayed when I needed to. You’d think people would make it less obvious that they’re talking about you, but no!! The ladies behind were talking so loudly about my dress code that even people passing on the streets could hear them, okay I’m exaggerating but you get the picture.

I don’t mind being corrected, I’m a big believer in constructive criticism. I would have appreciated someone coming to me and explaining the church’s dress code, oh I would have appreciated that shame. But, no!! In a church full of “Christians”, individuals who are apparently “Christ like” I felt the most judged. It was even worse when the pastor opened the bible and preached about seduction, he singled me out of everyone and used e as a premise for his sermon.

Kwakumnandi kuhlekwa mna in church that day hey I was the Potiphar’s wife trying to seduce Joseph caba. Yhu I was going through the most that day, I was goishing but I kept a straight face because there’s nothing I hate more than crying in public, during the people nogal (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just a personal preference).

When the church ended, I walked out I could not mingle and chat with anyone in that state. That experience put me off church for quite a while but I still had a lot of love for God.

I mean how are we supposed to entice people to God if we exhibit signs of judgement as Christians. God is love, she is kindness, she is a friend, a companion, she is non-judgemental and is a conqueror. Whether we like it or not, our actions as Christians are a put-off to many people because we live double lives, all holy when it’s convenient when our hearts do not reflect God’s heart and his love.