When I got dumped

In all my romantic encounters, I’ve either done the dumping or just slyzad out of the relationship by breaking all forms of communication with my object of affection. Trashy, I know but you still have to understand how shooketh I was when I was dumped.

Me and this guy had something going on, our relationship didn’t have a label, first mistake. Okay, I digress, back to the story, I want us to call the guy Bheki. And no, I’m not calling him Bheki because of Becky with the good hair, I’m not that petty!

Bheki is a year younger than me, yes baby I like them young, I’m kidding I legit didn’t know he was younger than me. I had been single for quite some time, have you ever been single for so long that when you sneeze and someone says “bless you”, you respond with “yes, bless me with a bae, pluz,” well that was me.

Okay back to Bheki, he and I started messaging each other back and forth, basically how most romantic relationships start nowadays. Bheki had a sense of humour and he was nice to look at, he wasn’t tall but nonetheless Bheki was a catch.

Once I caught wind of Bheki’s age, I was a bit disinterested but he’s a persistent fella. He invited me to a game of pool, I’m a very competitive person and I happen to like playing pool or any other sport except for netball, so I accepted the offer. On pool night, Bheki messaged me informing me that the pool club was closed. So, since we couldn’t play pool I suggested that we take a walk instead.

It was a nice walk, we learnt a lot about each other, he accompanied me to my res, and that was the end of it for that night. Bheki and I started seeing a lot of each other, we texted each other from sunrise to sunset. Those were the days.

And then we stopped communicating, haaaa Bheki kanjalo nje lol. Dololo communication! I started listening to a lot of Ella Mai’s music, hee wethu ibingumgowo!! I decided to text him and asked why we stopped communicating, and he justified himself by saying he’d been busy. Listen, if there’s one thing I know as an expert at slyzaring, when I cut off communication it means I’ve lost interest. So I assumed that Bheki lost interest so, I left it at that, I continued with my life, I lost interest, blocked him from my mind, deleted him from whatsapp, I was close to blocking him on Facebook and then he texted me. Wow, the devu never sleeps lol.

I recall being in class and having the time of my life then I read the first part of his message and it said “Hi,  Wanted to be honest with you because I owe you that…” Hee wethu just by reading the first part of the message I had a headache, heyi I was shook!! Without reading the rest of the message, I told him that I was busy at the moment, I’d respond to him later on. I wasn’t busy, I was shook lol.

I came back and read the rest of the message, he might’ve meant it differently but this is how I interpreted the message – Men are trash, therefore let’s not do this anymore because I don’t want to string you along for the ride. Basically, I was dumped because “men are trash”. Let’s all laugh at my life.

I told him I felt the same way and that we should continue being friends. I was able to suggest we become friends because I learnt a long time ago not to take dating at Rhodes seriously and I haven’t been proved wrong yet. I had no animosity towards this guy, I didn’t hate him and I still don’t.

Bheki and I are still awkward towards one another but I know he doesn’t hate me and I don’t hate him. Kodwa bantase, I have to be honest I’m still shooketh by the dumpiology kodwa ke ndazixelela that ndizaba strength lol. There was a time when Bheki was a trigger wowzaz but I’m cool with him now, akukho nto wethu.